Client Reflection: Divorce & Being Better Off
No one goes into a marriage with a divorce in sight at age 42.
By this time in your life you almost have your home paid off and a nice nest egg in 401k. Suddenly your life is turned upside down with unanswered questions, fear, uncertainty, worry, pain, and hurt. How could the one person you trusted loved cheat on you and hurt you?
There is no rule book to follow while going thru the most difficult time in your life. I don't wish this on anyone.
My story starts here.
My marriage wasn't perfect. It wasn't even sort of good. We were more like roommates just doing our time and I accepted this was how my life was going to be. We always promised each other we would never cheat on each and if we were unhappy we would leave.
That was until the day he cheated.
I had no choice but to end my marriage. Cheating was the one thing I couldn’t put up with. The hurt was indescribable. I was faced with many fears: the family unit broken, the hurt of my immediate family and child, the fear of how to support myself, what will people think, being a statistic, fear of dating, fear of moving on.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of not finding true love.
So I got tough and put on my big girls panties. I leaned in to the support of friends and loved ones and tackled my biggest task ever. I'm not going to lie this was the hardest thing I have ever done and I channelled anger, hurt, and foggy thoughts. My friends told me it would get harder before it got easier. That statement couldn't be any further than the truth. The process felt like an eternity with no end in site while going through it, however, it does end. When it ends it feels amazing. So much stress was lifted off my shoulders.
Now the process starts to work on YOU!!!
With four years out of the worse experience of my life I can honestly say I am better off. Better off being me and making myself happy. Better off taking care of and supporting my self and paying my bills, I am better off making my own decisions. My credit score has increased to a superb score. I am better off not relying on anyone. I am responsible for me. I don't put up with bullshit anymore. I have made a more independent life for myself. My divorce hurt like hell but it taught me what I truly wanted in a relationship and what I needed to work on for a better me. Divorce taught me how to love more effectively and work on relationships.
I have found that love again. I have learned that what my ex-husband does or doesn't do or what he spends his money on doesn't affect me. If he digs a hole for himself I'm no longer in that same hole. I still have triggers, insecurities, and emotional scars that I work on daily and hope over time fade. Divorce taught me a lesson and made me value my current relationship and has made me into the person I am today.
I had to go through it even though it hurt. Everyone around me recognizes how happy and better off I am.
I am truly better off.